My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
