she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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