Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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