That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
