i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
