So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
