I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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