We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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