Where are you?
In a non slutty way
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
