Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
