i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
