we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
