They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
