summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
