i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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