I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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