No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
