is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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