it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
