why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
