Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
