I accidentally had phone sex last night
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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