dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
