he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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