okay pat passed out under dana's car
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
