And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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