Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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