You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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