You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
