there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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