you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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