take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
