i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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