can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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