I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
