Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
