I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
