is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
