i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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