Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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