that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
