"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
