So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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