Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
