"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
