I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
