Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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