I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
