So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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