They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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