i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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