Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
