I'm going to jail i love you
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just blew my weed a kiss
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
