God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
